Queensland, Australia: Rock climbing at Kangaroo Point, Brisbane
David Whitley attempts to get fit whilst in Queensland, and tries his hand at rock climbing with the Riverlife Adventure Centre at Brisbane’s Kangaroo Point.
Rock-climbing at Kangaroo Point
Like just about everything that’s good for you, rock climbing is a lot harder than it looks. After patiently watching a fellow novice slowly inch up the sheer cliff walls at Brisbane’s Kangaroo Point, and then tumble back down, it’s my turn to put my legs through the waist harness and entrust my life to the man belaying the rope.
This had all looked so simple from ground. The angle is far more generous while you’re watching, and none of those pesky overhangs look like truly insurmountable objects. Just walk up the side of them, horizontally, like Spiderman would. Piece of cake. You can also see the foot and hand holds, and consequently the climber is bombarded with helpful shouts from the backseat mountaineers below him, telling him to just reach up really high to the left.
It’s only when you get onto the wall that you realise why the previous victim didn’t reach up really high to the left, leap across to the foothold on their right and generally scamper up the rock face unencumbered. It’s all a bit tricky.
Which way to go?
Throwing myself up onto the easiest initial ledge with zealous overconfidence, the immediate question is where to go next. Reaching up, what seem like plausible places to grip with the hand turn out to be like marble kitchen surfaces, utterly useless for grabbing on to. Then, when you get your left leg into a suitably comfortable position, there’s nowhere for your right leg to go again afterwards, and thus it’s either back to square one or a spectacular flying tumble to the ground from the grand distance of one metre.
Steeper gradient
Our group, to be fair, has got the rougher end of the deal here. We’re operating slightly further down the cliffs to the group of giggling teenage girls, and the further you go, the steeper the gradient gets. And whilst it might not look it stood back, chanting from the sidelines, here it is very steep indeed.
History of Kangaroo Point, Brisbane
This is not an entirely natural phenomenon, it has to be said. This peninsula of rhyolite rock has been attacked by human hand and machine over the years, used for building and extensively quarried as factories sprang up around the Brisbane River. Kangaroo Point has been home to train and ship building, as well as the Australian Navy and Army over the years. It’s now almost exclusively a residential area, but all that excavation of rock has left a sheer face to exploit for those who love boots, ropes and karabinas. A great setting it is, too, especially with the sun blazing down over the Brisbane River and the city skyline behind us.
If at first you don’t succeed…
A second attempt is briefly more successful. Prompted by directions from below, hands and feet find their way into gaps, crevasses, holds and outcrops until, yet again, an impasse is reached.
“Can you get your hand on that bit above you?” Er, no. “Even if you really stretch?” Ugh, hang on, ye-YES! I’m there. OK, now what?
“OK, put all of your weight on your left foot, and swing your right foot onto the hold slightly past it,” shouts my supporters’ club. I try, but that just doesn’t feel safe. An old ankle injury gives me a gentle reminder, as if to say: “If you’re thinking of putting all that weight on me, fat boy, then cut down on the pies. Or I’m going on strike.” Other options, though, are non-existent, and it’s back down for another go at another route.
While, quite frankly, I’m never going to get very far in a million years – even with extensive training – it’s not the same story for nimble young teens. After cloaking myself in ignominious failure, a young whippersnapper immediately puts me to shame, cantering past the bit I found impassable, and then slowly inching his way into uncharted territory.
On the ground, people are living vicariously, debating possible escape routes, scheming away for the benefit of their helpless puppet above. “You need to be almost horizontal for this one”, “Pull your whole body up”, “Use your knee”… Ah, the benefit of hindsight.
And eventually, thanks entirely to our superb guidance, Tim conquers the unconquerable overhang to reach the top. We’re heroes, absolute heroes I tell you, and bidding rights for our story shall start at $2m.
David went rock climbing with the Riverlife Adventure Centre
